- Ablutophilia
- Fetish for baths or showers; not to be confused with
ablutophobia, a morbid fear of bathing or showering.
- Abrasion
- Stimulating the surface of the body with abrasive materials,
for example, rough silk, chamois leather, fine sandpaper,
brushes, wire wool. An often overlooked but surprisingly
effective set of techniques, especially on a blindfolded bottom.
- Acrophilia
- Sexual arousal from being in high places. Definitely not be
confused with acrophobia, a morbid fear of heights.
- Adult babies
- May refer to those who gain fetishistic satisfaction from
dressing up in infants' clothing and using associated objects
like nappies and cribs; may also indicate those who enjoy
elaborate role-playing scenes in which they act out the part of
a baby as fully as possible.
- Aftercare
- Communication after scenes is part of what is called
aftercare. Aftercare is a process after a scene when the
partners typically cuddle, and may discuss the good and bad
parts of the scene.
- Aftershock
- A form of shock caused by the application of pain to the
body. Effects and symptons may include trembling, feeling of
cold, exhaustion, and confusion.
- Age play
- Play that involves taking on the role of someone of a
different age. Most commonly, adults take on the role of
children, perhaps in a submissive capacity.
- Agonophilia
- Pseudo-rape, pretend struggle or wrestling play as a form of
foreplay.
- Agoraphilia
- Arousal from having sex in public places.
- Agrexophilia
- Excitement from knowing that others are aware of a persons
sexual activities.
- Algolagnia
- Love of pain, from the Greek. Psychological term to describe
SM preferred by sexologist Havelock Ellis, who saw it as "pain
given in love." Perhaps useful to describe that element of SM
that is about the enjoyment of pain itself rather than acting
out domination and submission.
- Altocalciphilia
- Fetish for high heels.
- Alternative lifestyle
- Any sexual preference that is different from the generally
accepted social norm.
- Alternative sexuality
- A sexual orientation with a few variations that differ from
vaginal intercourse when a monogamous heterosexual relationship
has been established.
- Always
- Attempted at all times and at least accomplished more then
50% of the time. Often used in conjunction with an assertion of
good behavior (see "brat").
- Amaurophilia
- Excitement from having a partner who is unable to see them
during sex.
- Ampallang
- Horizontal piercing through the glans penis.
- Anal beads
- A string of beads inserted into the anus.
- Anal plug
- Anal vibrator or anal plug designed to stimulate the anus.
- Animal training
- Play in which one partner takes on the role of an animal,
and the other partner is the trainer.
- Ankle restraint
- Bondage device that restrains the ankles.
- Apadrayva
- Vertical piercing through the glans penis.
- Aphephilia
- Deriving pleasure from being touched.
- Arab strap
- A strap that goes round the penis and testicles.
- Asphyxiaphilia
- Breath control.
- Autagonistophilia
- Arousal from being on stage, being in front of a camera or
in the public eye.
- Ball gag
- A ball shaped gag that prevents talking, held in place by a
simple or elaborate harness.
- Bastinado
- Form of torture or punishment involving beating the soles of
the feet; these are very tender and should be handled with care.
- BDSM
- Bondage/discipline, Domination/submission, and
Sadomasochism.
- B&D
- Bondage and discipline. A subgroup within BDSM that is
largely involved in making the submissive/bottom physically
helpless and applying stimuli that outside of a scene would be
painful.
- Beating
- Striking, typically administered as punishment, particularly
in connection with childhood punishments such as spanking,
caning, or whipping but also used to describe more "adult"
scenes, like whipping.
- Belonephilia
- A paraphilia where an individual is aroused by pins, needles
or other sharp objects.
- Belting
- Striking with a belt, normally on the buttocks or thighs but
sometimes on the shoulders. In everyday language, sometimes used
more generally; "belting someone in the mouth" is more likely to
involve the backs of the hands than a belt.
- Birch, birching
- Light wooden rod or bundle of twigs, traditionally from the
birch tree; striking with such an implement.
- Black lightning
- A black fiberglass or resin rod often with a leather or
rubber handle that is used as a cane. Can you guess what colour
a White lightning is?
- Black snake
- Single-lash whip that is flexible all the way to the knob.
- Blindfold
- Temporarily blocking the sense of sight is a common
technique in SM scenes. It can make the bottom feel more
vulnerable, help them concentrate or "get into the headspace",
and is essential to the sorts of abrasion and surface play games
where everyday objects are used to give unexpected sensations.
- Block and tackle
- A mechanical device that allows heavy objects to be lifted
easily. Usally consists of a rope and mulitple pulleys with
attachments allowing the pulleys to be hooked to a scaffold or
hard point.
- Blood sports
- Play involving cutting, piercing or the drawing of blood.
- Body bag
- A fully enclosed rubber bag into which the slave or
submissive is sealed. Used in restriction or mummification
games.
- Body fluids
- Any fluid secreted from or contained within the body.
- Body fluid bonding
- Typically a practice of long-term couples who share body
fluids only between each other in order to observe safer-sex
recommendations. The partners may or may not play with others
outside their relationship.
- Body modification
- Making temporary or permanent but usually superficial
alterations to the appearance of the body, sometimes by painful
processes.
- Bootlicking
- A common practice for domination and humiliation purposes,
or sometimes just as a means of indulging a boot fetish.
- Bondage
- A group of techniques for rendering a submissive physically
helpless.
- Boudary
- The edge of one's ability to handle sensation or other
stimuli, physically or psychologically.
- Bougie
- A urethral sound.
- Brain Fade
- A state of confusion and/or inability to reason experienced
by the submissive. This effect usually results from
psychological domination, the mind-fuck, or a deepening
submissive state.
- Branding
- To burn or scar the skin.
- Brat
- Term for a submissive who tries to get the attention of a
Dom/me by stirring up trouble.
- Breast bondage
- Tying the female breasts with cord, string. rope, rubber
bands, or scarves; may include nipple bondage or clamping.
- Breast press
- A device for compressing the breasts.
- Breast stocks
- Equipment similar to the breast press except the aim is
restriction rather than pressure.
- Breath play
- Techniques that involve restricting or controlling one's
breathing.
- Brown shower
- Sometimes referred to as "hard" sports. To be defecated
upon.
- Bullwhip
- A long, heavy leather whip.
- Butt plug
- There are many types, sizes and models of butt plugs, e.g.,
rubber, latex, metal, inflatable, etc.
- Butterfly board
- Placed over the penus to pin, staple, or nail the scrotum.
- Button
- A word, situation or action that causes an unexpectedly
strong emotional or psychological reaction.
- Caging
- Locking an individual in a cage.
- Cane
- Usually a 15-45" long stick used for spanking techniques.
- Carabiner
- A metal snap used for attaching ropes for restraints and
suspension.
- Cat, cat o'nine tails
- A whip consisting of nine strands of leather attached to a
handle. The cat leaves lasting marks, and inflicts extreme pain
if wielded harshly.
- Catagelophilia
- A Paraphilia where a person finds sexual excitement in being
ridiculed.
- Catheter
- A tube inserted into the urethra, used in medical scenes.
There are obvious health and safety implications associated with
this type of play.
- Catheterization
- Inserting a sterile tube into the urethra for the purpose of
controlling urination.
- Catheterophilia
- Arousal from the use of catheters.
- CBT
- Cock and ball torture. Intense stimulation of the male sex
by bondage, needles, or clamps.
- CBT board
- A wooden or leather board designed to hold the penis and
testicles whilst they are tortured. It is usually attached with
clamps.
- CD
- Cross-dressing. To dress as a female (if you’re male).
- Chain
- Used as an alternative to rope for bondage and suspension.
- Checking in
- Asking the submissive how they are feeling during a scene,
if they wish to continue or stop, how the level of pain is etc.
By analyzing the inflection and wording of the response and
comparing it to visual clues, the top can determine wether or
not the submissive is in fact giving a coherent answer, and if
play should continue, slow down, or stop.
- Chemical play
- The use of chemicals on the skin to give the effect of heat
or cold.
- Chremastistophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is sexually aroused by being
robbed.
- Chrysophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is sexually aroused by gold or
gold colored objects.
- Clamp
- Toy used in SM play (e.g., clothespin) to pinch areas of the
body such as the breast or labia.
- Clamp - Clover
- Clover clamps are intricately curved spring mechanisms whose
actual purpose is to hold fabrics tightly for sewing; often sold
in pairs with a chain attaching them.
- Clamp - Roach
- Thin tweezers with small rubber coverings on the tips and a
sliding ring for adjusting the tightness.
- Clamp - Rolls Royce
- Heavy clamps with rubber tip coverings, a chain between
them, and an adjustment mechanism that works by screwing them
tighter.
- Claustrophilia
- A paraphilia where a person becomes sexually aroused by
being confined to small places.
- Clothespin
- These mostly harmless miniature clamps are the ultimate
pervertible clamp.
- Collar
- Worn to denote submissiveness or slavery to a particular
Master/Mistress.
- Collared
- To have accepted a collar from a dominant. This presumes a
certain degree of continued submission the degree of which is up
to the individuals involved and may range from highly dedicated
to extremely casual.
- Collaring
- The ceremony or ritual by which a submissive becomes bound
to his or her Master/Mistress. Collaring represents a serious
commitment between the players and is not a part of casual play.
- Cock ring
- A ring made from metal, rubber, or leather, worn round the
base of the penis to control blood flow. A cock ring can either
help sustain an erection, or prevent one if applied to a flaccid
penis.
- Consensual
- Agreed to. Most people feel that informed consent is
necessary during all BDSM play. This means that both parties are
aware of the inherent risks and accept them.
- Contract
- A written agreement about the rights and duties of the D/s
partners. Those contracts do not have any meaning in terms of
law, but they are often used to define the relationship.
- Coprophilia
- The technical term for scat games.
- Corporal punishment
- CP is "punishment" by beating; sometimes implies a more
vigorous beating than spanking, but the two are often used
interchangeably.
- Crop
- Riding crop used for spanking techniques.
- Crucifixion
- Bondage where the submissive's arms and legs are tied or
shackled to a stationary cross
- Crurophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is sexually aroused by legs.
- Cuffs
- Either metal or leather, and worn on the wrists and/or
ankles as a method of restraint.
- Cupping
- The placing of suction devices on the skin.
- Cutting
- Cutting with a knife or scalpel.
- Dacryphilia
- A Paraphilia where one becomes aroused by the tears of their
partner.
- Dark room
- A dungeon (play space) where the lights are intentionally
kept subdued.
- Decorative binding
- Using rope or cord to compress or tie a portion of the body
where struggle will not cause it to tighten or cut into the
submissive.
- Degradation
- Extreme humiliation.
- Dildo play/training
- A dildo is inserted into the rectum. There are various
sizes, from finger size to enormous.
- Dog training
- Role-play where the sub/bottom is trained/treated like a
dog, such as wearing a collar and lead, eating and drinking from
a bowl on the floor, made to beg and bark.
- Dom/me
- A dominant male or female person - the person in
charge/control (and who gets to sit in chairs or sofas).
- Dominant
- An individual who accepts the submissive's power and uses it
for their mutual pleasure.
- Domination
- To be dominated by another. This includes obeying
instructions, carrying out tasks, humiliation, and being
dominated generally. Domination, in its strictest definition, is
largely psychological play and is distinct from "topping", which
refers to physical SM.
- Dungeon
- Generic term used to describe a play area. Dungeons can be
permanant or temporary, with fixed, portable, or no equipment.
- Edgeplay
- These are particularly dangerous activities that are looked
upon with some trepidation. Often techniques that include blood
sports and asphyxia.
- Edgeplayer
- A person takes part in edgeplay. Example: "The guy is a real
edgeplayer; he's into heavy blood sports and asphyxia."
- Electro-torture
- Using a small electrical current used for erotic
stimulation.
- Electrics
- To be tortured or stimulated with a low-voltage electrical
device, such as a violet wand, PES, or a TENS unit. Safe when
done by a knowledgeable dominant but very dangerous when done by
an inexperienced dominant.
- Elastrator
- Device, resembling a pair of tongs, used for applying very
strong and tight elastic bands, intended for veterinary use in
castrating and tail-cropping young animals, but sometimes used
as a form of clamp in SM play, especially on nipples (prolonged
wearing of such bands should be avoided).
- Enema
- An enema is used to fill the colon with water or other
liquid. Often used in medical scenes.
- Endorphin
- Natural painkiller secreted by the body when experiencing
pain. It allows one to receive more pain due to an analgesic
effect. When a person is under the influence of endorphins,
usually it is said that he or she is in "subspace."
- EPE
- Erotic power exchange.
- Erotic Embarrassment
- "Forcing" a submissive to dress, speak or perform acts that
he or she actually desires but has been restrained by societal
pressures.
- Exhibitionism
- Getting sexual pleasure from exposing or displaying the body
to others or being watched while having sex.
- Fantasy
- Many and varied. Whatever your fantasy, you can wager your
pension that someone else, somewhere, has a similar fantasy.
- Femdom
- A female dominant or female domination.
- Feminization
- For a man to be dressed and often made-up as a female,
either voluntarily or under duress (such as in "forced
feminization").
- Fetish, Fetishist
- Fetish is a term used to describe a specific area of
interest; likewise a fetishist is one participates in those
fetishes. There are probably a hundred or more activities which
can be described as fetishes, but a representative example are
those involving rubber, latex, PVC or leather.
In anthropology, a fetish is an object to which powers are
attributed that go beyond its natural ones; when the term is
extended to sexuality, it indicates an object not naturally
connected with sexual reproduction that nonetheless causes
sexual arousal for some people. As Freud puts it, the fetish
bears some relation to the normal sexual object but is entirely
unsuited to serve the normal sexual aim (by which, of course, he
means the reproductive aim). The best known object fetishes are
for items of clothing, especially those made out of particular
materials like fur, leather and rubber, and boots and shoes.
However, if the notion of a fetish is extended to include
activities, then SM, which consists almost entirely of
activities unsuited to serve the normal sexual aim, appears as
one big fetish.
- Figging
- The spreading of ground ginger on the female genital area to
produce a feeling of heat.
- Fire and ice
- Play involving the alternating use of heat and cold.
- Fire play
- Applying fire for brief periods of time, either caressing
another with a flame or creating a burst of flame on the body.
- Fisting
- Vaginal or even anal penetration using the fist/hand.
- Flagellation
- Sometimes abbreviated to fladge or flag (the latter
pronounced identically to the former), though these are both
rather dated. First used in English for the self-whipping of
mediaeval religious flagellant cults. In the modern era used by
psychologists and sometimes among practitioners as a general
term to describe SM-related whipping, beating and spanking for
erotic stimulation. A useful overall term, though currently out
of fashion on the SM scene.
- Flail
- A rod with a hinge in the centre. Sometimes used to describe
a flogger.
- Flying
- Suspension in a near horizontal position. Also a feeling of
elation combined with unreality that may be felt by a bottom
during play.
- Flogger
- A multi strap/string whip, straps/strings are usually up to
20" long and made of leather or rubber.
- Fringe whip
- A light multistrand whip with braided nylon or rope falls.
- Gas mask
- Device used for breath play or mummification.
- Gag
- There are many kinds of different gags: ball gags,
penis-shaped gags, even inflatable gags.
- Gates of Hell
- Leather or rubber device consisting of several straps that
encloses and restricts the penis and testicles. Used as a male
chastity device.
- Gerontophilia
- A paraphilia for a much older partner.
- Genitorture
- Pain play involving the genitals.
- Go word
- A signal by the submissive that everything is all right and
you can continue with or increase the present level of
stimulation.
- Golden shower
- A humiliation technique where the dominant urinates on the
submissive.
- Gymnophobia
- Fear of nudity.
- Gynelophilous
- Arousal from the sight or touch of pubic hair.
- Gynophobia
- Fear of women.
- Hamartophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by
committing acts they consider to be sinful.
- Handcuffs
- These metal bondage items, familiar from police use, are
another one of those well-known SM icons that have real
practical drawbacks: they can be painful and damaging to nerves
and bones, and like all metal bondage items should be used with
great care. Two popular types are the U-shapes with a
cross-piece and the ratchet type. Straight 8s have both cuffs as
one solid piece rather than joined with a chain, thumb cuffs are
usually mini straight 8s and ankle cuffs are larger and with a
longer chain.
- Haptephilia
- A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by being
touched.
- Harness
- Usually leather or rubber, worn by the submissive. The
harness will sometimes restrict the movement of the arms.
- Head harness
- A harness worn on the head; may restrict motion, vision, or
both.
- Heavy play
- A subjective term for intense play. What is heavy play for
one is a light warm-up for another.
- Hedonist
- A person who dedicates a significant amount of time to the
pursuit of physical pleasure.
- Hedonophobia
- Fear of pleasure.
- Hedgehog
- A spiked wheel sometimes used in abrasion scenes, similar to
a Wurtenburg wheel.
- Hobble skirt
- Very narrow skirt with hem below the knee, or longer, that
restricts the wearer's ability to take anything other than very
short steps, sometimes used as a bondage item.
- Homilophilia
- Arousal from giving or receiving a sermon or speech.
- Hood
- Hoods are usually rubber, leather, latex or PVC and totally
enclose the head. There are many different types of hoods, but
some have gags or zips fitted to restrict vision and breathing.
Very efficient when used as part of sensory deprivation games.
- Horse
- In bondage, a horse is any item of furniture that a bottom
can be tied down over, usually to expose the buttocks for some
form of flagellation. They can be improvised from chairs, gym
horses can be used, or purpose-built items acquired.
- Human toilet training
- You're the toilet, and often restrained in a toilet box,
while the dominant urinates or defecates on you.
- Humiliation
- Takes many forms, but is exactly what it says. To be
humiliated forms a part of many scenes, but what one person
finds humiliating is not necessarily the same thing for the next
person.
- Hygrophilia
- Arousal from contact with body secretions.
- Hyphephilia
- Sexual arousal from touching specific types of fabrics.
- Hypnotism
- Some engage in hypno-play. You have to make your own mind up
about getting into this.
- Hypoxyphilia
- Sexual arousal from the limiting or withholding of oxygen.
- Ice
- Ice can be used very effectively as an instrument of
torture. Often used in conjunction with hot wax.
- Idrophrodisia
- Arousal from perspiration.
- I'll never
- A form of temporary denial.
- Immobilization
- Any form of bondage where the physical movement is prevented
to some degree, or totally.
- Infantilism
- Adult babies.
- Infibulation
- Fastening of the genitals to prevent intercourse or even
sometimes arousal, as in chastity games, usually achieved by
piercing or suturing (sewing).
- Interrogation
- A type of role-play that can be very intense. Interrogation
may involve torture.
- Irons
- Various kinds of metal bondage equipment, the best known
being the leg irons with two riveted steel cuffs for the ankles
attached to a bar or chain.
- Japanese Bondage
- A number of styles of decorative (and functional) rope
bondage originating from styles used in the Far East.
- Kainotophilia
- A paraphilia where a person derives sexual excitement from
change.
- Kakorrhaphiphilia
- A paraphilia where a person derives sexual excitement from
failure.
- Keraunophilia
- A paraphilia where a person derives sexual excitement from
thunder and/or lightning.
- Kinbaku
- A form of Japanese rope bondage.
- Kinesophilia
- A paraphilia where a person derives sexual pleasure from
exercise.
- Kleptophilia
- A paraphilia in which sexual arousal is dependent on
stealing.
- Klismaphilia
- A love of enemas. Enema games.
- Knife play
- The use of knives as a form of sensation play. The knife may
be drawn across the body to threaten, stimulate by tickling or
scratching the skin, or may be used to cut off clothing.
- Knismolagnia
- Sexual arousal from being tickled.
- Knissophilia
- A paraphilia where a person derives sexual pleasure from
incense.
- Kolpophobia
- Fear of the female genitals.
- Kopophilia
- A paraphilia where a person derives sexual excitement from
exhaustion.
- Lacing
- Connecting temporary piercings with thread or light chain.
The piercings may be connected to each other or to a framework.
- Lash
- Long-tailed implement such as a whip, that causes a stinging
pain.
- Leather
- Material made from the cured skin of animals is a popular
sexual fetish: it may combine some natural appeal with the
social associations of particularly black leather with power and
masculinity. Certainly it often co-occurs with SM interests and
was the dress code and de facto uniform of the influential gay
male SM community that developed in the US from the 1960s, who
came to be known as leathermen.
- Leg restraint
- Bondage restraint used to fasten the legs in position.
- Leg stretcher
- Bondage device used to force the legs apart.
- Limit
- The point beyond which a player in a BDSM game does not
consent to go. Can either indicate a particular activity that
someone cannot cope with or finds a turnoff, or a point reached
in play at which the stimulation ceases to be enjoyable or
satisfying, or becomes impossible to cope with psychologically.
Obviously the limits will vary between person to person and
situation to situation. Note that although limits are usually
thought of in connection with bottoms, they are also applicable
to tops.
- Limits - hard
- A predetermined area or boundary beyond which Top/Dom may
not push. Usually refers to specific activities, and may be
summed up as "not fucking likely..."
- Limits - pushing
- The gradual expansion of a dominant's and a submissive
repertoire as they gain confidence and seek new challenges.
- Limits - respecting
- A fundamental ethic among kinky people is to treat limits as
a sacred trust, and never to violate the submissive's trust by
non-consensually exceeding their limits.
- Lunge whip
- A long thin whip.
- Machlaenomania
- Masochism in women.
- Maid training
- Wearing a maid's outfit. Cleaning, serving, and generally
acting as a maid.
- Malacca
- Thick cane with a knob-shaped handle at one end.
- Manacle
- Metal rings joined by a chain to restrain wrists or ankles.
- Martinet
- A small flogger usually having six falls of the same length
as the handle.
- Masochism
- The ability to derive pleasure from pain. Derives from the
writings of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.
- Master/Mistress
- Mostly used in terms of "ownership" (e.g., of a slave).
- Mastigophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by
punishment.
- Marks
- Remember that even the lightest application of a whip or
crop will leave marks that will be visible for anything from
several hours to several days.
- Martinet
- Small flogger usually having six leather tresses of the same
length as the handle.
- Mazophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by women's
breasts.
- Medical scenes
- Scene involving some form of medical procedure or scenario,
someone role of a doctor or nurse and the bottom a patient,
often with a control element. Typical medical scenes may involve
intrusive physical examinations and insertive medical equipment
such as specula, douching and enemas, and perhaps
catheterization, piercing, suturing, electricity, breath control
with anesthesia masks, and the use of nasogastric tubes.
- Medorthophobia
- Fear of an erect penis.
- Megalophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by large
objects.
- Mentor
- An experienced top that teachs safety, ideas, style, and
technique.
- Merinthophilia
- Arousal from being bound.
- Metophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by another
person's face.
- Mind-fuck
- Also known as "head-play, mind-play, mind games, head games,
and head trips. A mind-fuck is the process of deliberately
misleading a partner into believing something horrible is about
to happen. This means any kind of manipulation by the top which
heightens anticipation and fear in an emotionally masochistic
bottom and thus intensifies the bottom's erotic response.
- Metrophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by poetry.
- Mummification
- A form of bondage where the passive part is wrapped up more
or less completely.
- Munch
- A casual social gathering of the BDSM community, usually in
a public restaurant or bar.
- Mysophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by dirt or
being dirty.
- Narratophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by erotic
conversations.
- Nasophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by touching
a partner's nose.
- Needle play
- Piercing with sterile needles.
- Negotiation
- With the variety of activities that come under the rubric of
BDSM, the huge variation in individuals' limits and the
importance of consent, a good deal of open, honest negotiation
before a scene is vital.
- Neophilia
- A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by anything
new.
- Nipple torture
- Any application of pain to the nipples. Clamps, of which
there are many kinds, are often used.
- Nostril strap
- Restraint which hooks into the nostrils; used in Japanese
BDSM
- Nuchae
- Piercing through the back of the neck.
- Nyctophilia
- A paraphilia where someone is extremely aroused by darkness
or night.
- Obedience
- Compliance with commands.
- Oral service
- Fellatio or cunnilingus.
- OTK
- Over the knee. A form of spanking.
- PA
- Prince Albert. A ring that pierces through the urethra and
comes out of the underside of the penis.
- Paddle
- A flat instrument used for spanking purposes - mostly made
of leather or wood - sometimes with air holes for a better
effect.
- Pain slut
- Someone who glories in receiving what most would call
intense pain.
- Pain threshold
- The point of intensity at which stimulation becomes pain.
- Painful bondage
- Specialist form of severe bondage which is carried out not
just for restraint but to inflict pain by fastening the body
into positions that place strain on the muscles.
- Panic snap
- A linking device used with cable or chain that allows two
lengths to be disconnected even when there is tension in the
system. A safety device.
- Pansexual
- A person who is attracted to all genders and all forms of
sex.
- Pansexuality
- All-encompassing sexuality, disregarding gender differences
and, sometimes, preferences for particular activities. Could be
used of a person, in which case it suggests a wide interest in
all forms of sex with partners of any gender. Much more commonly
used of a community: some people have argued for the
pansexuality of the BDSM community. Alternatively pansexual can
mean simply pertaining to all sexes and sexual orientations.
- Panty boys
- Those who like to wear female underwear, especially panties,
as part of a scene.
- Parachute
- Parachute-shaped rubber or leather attachment for the
scrotum or penis. Weights are then placed in it to stretch the
penis and testicles.
- Paraphilia
- The general term for a sex practice that becomes necessary
for sexual arousal but that is not approved by social norms.
- Percussion play
- Term used by to group together all activities involving
repeated striking, with the hands or with any heavy or light,
blunt, cutting, or stinging implement.
- Pervertible
- Term used to describe objects intended for some nonsexual
use, especially everyday household objects that can nonetheless
be appropriated for BDSM play. Typical pervertibles are
clothespins, saran wrap, household candles, and wooden spoons
and spatulas that can be used as improvised paddles.
- Petplay
- Role-play where the sub acts within the role of an animal
such as a pony, cat or dog.
- Pet training
- To be trained as a dog, pony or other pet.
- Phobia
- A prolonged, intense fear of a person, object or condition,
that interferes with normal day-to-day functioning.
- Pillory
- A fixed set of stocks with openings for the head and wrists.
The head and wrists are held at the same level, usually at a
height that requires the detainee to bend at the waist.
- Piercing
- Either temporary or permanent. If temporary, needles are
used and removed at the end of the scene. There are many kinds
of body piercing that are permanent, including piercings of the
genitalia and nipples.
- Piquerism
- Drawing blood by piercing the skin with a knife or blade.
- Play
- To participate in a BDSM scene.
- Pony boys/girls
- A submissive trained to act like a pony.
- Pony training
- This involves acting as a pony, pulling a small trailer. And
guess where you wear the tail?
- Pro-Domme
- Professional dominatrix. Payment ("tribute") is expected for
her sessions.
- Proctoscope
- The male version of a speculum.
- Prostate Milking
- A method of provoking ejaculation without touching the
penis. The prostate is massaged internally, causing semen to
leave the ampulla, a storage reservoir, and ejaculate. When used
in conjunction with a chastity device and ice on the penis and
testicles, the pleasure can be removed from the act of
ejaculation leaving the male drained of semen and making
enforced chastity much easier.
- Punitive Pain
- Pain that by intention is designed to hurt for non-erotic
purposes, usually for punishment.
- PVC
- Polyvinylchloride - a plastic used for fetish clothing and
for bondage devices.
- Pygmalionism
- Attraction to manikins.
- Pygophilia
- Arousal from touching, playing with or seeing another's
buttocks.
- Pyrolagnia
- Sexual arousal form watching fire.
- Pyrophilia
- Sexual arousal from fire.
- Queening
- When a woman sits astride a person's face covering mouth and
nose. Could be simply for cunnilingus or practiced as a form of
breath control.
- Quirt
- A long coaching whip.
- Rack
- Item of bondage furniture consisting of a horizontal
platform or table with fixing points allowing someone to be
stretched out on their back or front with easy access all round:
rarely do modern racks provide the facility for progressive
stretching familiar from the popular image of the medieval
torture chamber.
- Rebreathing
- A form of breath control or suffocation involving breathing
into an airtight enclosure so the oxygen is cumulatively
exhausted and supplanted by exhaled carbon dioxide.
- Reminder
- The lingering sting of ones backside that settles the
question of which is more important- the wishes of your Dominant
or "Oprah."
- Restraint
- Various objects designed for bondage purposes, usually
consisting of straps or buckles for placing round limbs prior to
fastening them together, as in ankle, elbow, leg, and wrist
restraints.
- Restriction
- May mean limiting someone's movement with the use of
fastenings of various kinds, as in bondage; or a rule of
behaviour placed upon a bottom as part of role-play; or a
special kind of bondage involving binding the chest to restrict
the breathing, a form of breath control.
- Retifism
- Fetish for boots and shoes.
- Rhabdophilia
- Arousal from being flogged, beaten or caned.
- Riding crop
- Short whip with a loop of leather on the end intended for
use on horses but very useful and adaptable on humans too.
- Rimming
- Mouth contact with the anus including insertion of the
tongue inside it.
- Role-play
- You both act out roles, teacher/pupil or nurse/patient for
example. Usually, only the broad outlines are sketched out.
Almost all BDSM involves some level of role-play.
- Rubber
- After leather, easily the most popular material fetish
going, though it tends to be more popular in Europe, where items
can be obtained reasonably cheaply, than in US, where they are
very expensive. It mainly takes the form of an interest in
clothing, hoods and bondage items made out of latex sheeting
and, as with leather, black is the most popular colour. Most
clothing is purpose made, often in imitation of more
conventional styles, but some items, such as all in one suits,
are peculiar to the fetish community. Shorts and T-shirts are
common but some rubber fans want to be totally encased in
rubber.
- SSC
- Safe, Sane, Consensual. What all your scenes should be.
- S&M
- Sadism and Masochism; A term often used to describe the D/s
scene; however, it is falling into disrepute because it is both
inaccurate (Dominants are not sadists) and overly limited (all
submissives are not masochists).
- Sadist
- An individual who enjoys causing pain in a nonconsensual
manner or regardless of the presence of absence of consent.
- Safeword
- A word, phrase or signal the participants agree on which has
the meaning of a stop sign - all play has to stop immediately
when this signal is given.
- SAM
- Smart-assed masochist. A pseudosubmissive who attempts to
control everything the sadist does. Similar to "brat".
- Scaffolding
- A metal or wooden framework.
- Scarfing
- Partial strangulation with a scarf.
- Scarifying
- Cutting in order to leave permanant scars or temporary
whelts.
- Scene (A)
- A BDSM game or situation (such as in an "abduction scene").
- Scene (The)
- The gamut of activities and people considered as a whole.
BDSM generally is referred to as The Scene.
- Scourge
- A scourge is typically a whip of several leather thongs, as
once practised by religious flagellants. Used loosely, the term
"scourging" is likely to imply a whipping severe enough to draw
blood.
- Scrotal infusion
- Injection of sterile saline solution into the scrotum.
- Sensory deprivation
- A form of restraint where all sensory input is
systematically cut off through blindfolds, ear plugs or
earphones and secure but non-painful bondage.
- Sensory relocation
- Transferring the feeling of a stimuli to a different body
location than it is received.
- Serpents tongue
- Slapper made of a thick strap of leather, two or three
inches wide, with a deep vee shaped cut into most of the length
of the piece.
- Sexual orientation
- Sexual identification, as defined by a person's sexual
relationships or affinity.
- Shackles
- Metal cuffs joined by a chain or bar.
- Shibari
- Japanese rope bondage. Often elaborate and decorative.
- Signal whip
- Medium-length plaited leather whip similar to a small
bullwhip, as used with dog teams.
- Slapper
- Form of paddle with hinged second surface to produce
extra-loud noise on contact.
- Slapping
- Hitting anywhere on the bottom (except for the ass, where it
becomes spanking) with an open hand.
- Slave
- Often used interchangeably with submissive, but generally
reflecting a more intense level of submission or nonsexual or
sexual-plus submission. For example, a slave might be someone
who remains in a 24-hours-a-day submission and cooks, cleans
and, otherwise, takes care of a dominant's house.
- Sleepsack
- A bag in which to wrap the body for a particularly intense
form of bondage, custom-made from leather or rubber or
improvised from a sleeping bag and rope or straps.
- Sling
- A cross between a swing and a hammock in which a bottom may
be comfortably suspended.
- Sound
- A medical stainless steel rod which may be inserted into the
urethra.
- Sounding
- Male urethral play. Actual penile urethral sounds are
usually Van Burens (curved) and Dittels (straight). These are
hard to find and can be quite expensive. Most stuffers use
medical devices that are actually uterine dilators, called
Pratts or Hegars but they are also commonly called sounds.
- Spanish collar
- A metal collar with long spikes on the outside, or small
spikes on the inside, which makes it impossible for the wearer
to lie down or rest.
- Spanking skirt
- A skirt or dress with cut-outs over each cheek, designed to
allow bare-skinned spanking.
- Spanking
- The application of stimuli to the buttocks with a bare hand
(usually) that outside of a scene would be considered painful.
- Spanking bench
- A bench designed for spanking.
- Speculum
- Device intended for medical examination of the vagina,
normally made of steel in a duckbill design. The bill is
lubricated and inserted and then the two jaws are moved apart
with a screw mechanism, stretching the opening to give a clear
view down the throat of the instrument. Objects such as swabs
can also be inserted through the throat and into the office.
Used by SMers in medical scenes but also in more general use;
the ability to slowly increase the tension on the opening is
useful in anal fisting as a way of gradually stretching and
relaxing the sphincter. Proctoscopes are similar devices.
- Spencer paddle
- A wooden paddle with holes drilled in the striking surface.
- Spreader bar
- A bar of any kind of material (usually wood or metal) used
to keep two body part (legs or wrist) away from each other. Used
in bondage play.
- Squeeze signal
- A silent used to indicate that everything is okay during a
scene.
- St. Andrew's Cross
- An X-shaped cross upon which the submissive is tied.
- St. Catherine's Wheel
- A vertical wheel to which a submissive can be strapped and
spun around.
- Stapling
- Use of a surgical stapler; temporary piercing and lacing
done with a surgical stapler and sterile medical staples.
- Sting
- A term used to describe the feeling of being hit by an
instrument such as a thin cane; opposite of thud.
- Stitching
- Use of surgical sutures on the penus or labia.
- Stocks
- Substantial item of bondage furniture based on medieval
model, usually consisting of a two hinged pieces of wood with
semicircular holes that when locked together form rings to trap
neck, wrists and/or ankles.
- Strait jacket
- A garment sometimes used on prisoners or psychiatric
patients with closed-ended sleeves that can be strapped around
the person's back, sometimes also used for bondage.
- Strap
- A Length of leather or other material used for fastening or
for striking the body.
- Strap-on
- A latex penis attached to the body by a harness.
- Strapple
- An elongated paddle with a bit more flex so that is
something intermediate between a strap and a paddle.
- Submissive
- A person who gives the control to another person (Dominant).
Familiarly called a "sub".
- Subspace
- A state of mind and body, often like a trance (some describe
it as flying/drifting), caused by endorphins emitted during an
intense scene or stress.
- Suspension
- Being hung up, or suspended, by the tied wrists, wrists and
ankles or even feet.
- Suspension cuffs
- Wrist and ankle cuffs designed for suspension.
- Switch
- A person who "switches" roles, usually between top/bottom.
Seen more in SM than in D/s.
- Tantalolagnia
- Arousal from teasing.
- Temporary Piercing
- Using a sterile needle to penetrate the skin as a
stimulation rather than to produce a hole to be used for jewelry
as in conventional piercing.
- TENS Unit
- Battery-powered device for delivering a low-voltage electric
shock.
- Tethering
- Fixing someone to a point to limit their movement, usually
by means of a rope.
- Thrashing
- A heavy and prolonged flogging or flagellation.
- Thud
- Term used to describe the feeling of being hit by an heavy
instrument; opposite of sting.
- Time play
- Distortion of time.
- Tit torture
- Intense breast stimulation (for example with needles,
clamps, tight bondage, etc.).
- Top
- Generally, the person in charge/control of an SM scene,
i.e., the doer rather than the "doee".
- Top space
- A state of altered consciousness achieved during a scene by
the dominant or top characterized by feelings of intense focus,
clarity of thought, a sense of extreme power or high energy,
and/or exhilaration. Feelings of distance and objectivity, as if
one were commanding from a mountain top, may paradoxically
accompany feelings of connection to the submissive, as if there
were a psychic link. A dispassionate perspective may combine
with erotic ardor. Top space may be followed by either a
continued sense of well-being or by feelings of fatigue,
depression, or lethargy.
- Topping from the bottom
- The not always subtle art of a bottom adding directions to a
scene: "No dammit, use the other flogger! Are you almost
finished?"
- Toy
- Generally, any item of equipment used in an SM scene.
- TPE
- Total Power Exchange - term for an extreme form of a 24/7
D/s relationship.
- Torture
- Generic term for activities that occur during a scene. Can
be from mild to extreme.
- Training
- Discipline used by the dominant to control the submissive's
behavior.
- Trichophilia
- Hair Fetish.
- Tripsolagnophilia
- Arousal from massage.
- Urethral sound
- A medical stainless steel rod which may be inserted into the
urethra.
- Uranophobia
- An irrational fear of homosexuals and homosexuality.
- Urophilia
- Sexual arousal from contact with urine.
- Urtication
- Use of stinging nettles on the body.
- Vaccinophilia
- A paraphilia where a person derives sexual gratification
from being vaccinated.
- Vacuum bag
- A plastic or rubber bag designed to encase a person, from
which the air may be extracted using a vacuum cleaner.
- Vampire glove
- A glove studded with outward facing tacks, staples or other
sharp objects.
- Vampirism
- The drinking of blood or fetish for blood.
- Vanilla
- Often used for "plain standard sex" - non-BDSM sex, or to
describe those not in the BDSM scene.
- Vicarphilia
- A paraphilia where a person becomes sexually aroused by
hearing stories about other people's lives.
- Vincilagnia
- Arousal from being tied up.
- Violet wand
- An electric device usually in form of a glass cylinder that
uses the effect of high frequent electric charges generated by a
tesla device to apply intense stimulation.
- Voyeur
- An individual who gets sexual gratification from watching
other people perform sexual acts.
- Wand of Venus
- A birch rod.
- Wartenburg wheel
- A spiked wheel sometimes used in abrasion scenes. Wartenburg
wheels are used to test neural responses of spinal chord injury
patients.
- Watersport
- A humiliation technique where the dominant urinates on the
submissive.
- Waxing, wax play
- Hot candle wax dripped on the body is an effective means of
inflicting pain. Can be sensual or painful, depending on the
height from which the wax is dropped.
- Weight training
- The suspension of wights from clamps, permanent, or
temporary piercings attached to the body.
- Whip
- Usually made of leather with a medium-sized handle and long
braided leather strings.
- White room
- Room where medical and clinical games are played.
- Worship
- To lavish attention to a body part.
- Wrapping
- A term used when a whip or similar weapon curls round the
body.
- Wrapping
- Wrapping of the body with rubber, adhesive tape, or
cling-film.
- Wrist suspension
- Suspending by the wrists using specially padded wrist cuffs,
often in conjunction with a body harness.
- X-frame
- A bondage frame in the shape of an X in a horizontal
position.
- Xenophilia
- Sexual arousal from strangers.
- Yoke
- A metal or wooden bar which holds the neck and wrists.
- Zelophile
- A person who is sexually excited by their partner's
jealousy.
- Zoophilia
- A person who has a profound emotional and/or physical
attraction to animals. This attraction is manifested in many
ways, including sexual contact with animals.
-
-
- Words I like to use on my calls......
- Succulent.....
- Main Entry: 1suc·cu·lent
- Pronunciation: -l&nt
- Function: adjective
- Etymology: Latin suculentus, from sucus
juice, sap; perhaps akin to Latin sugere to suck --
more at
SUCK
- 1 a : full of juice :
JUICY
b : moist and tasty :
TOOTHSOME
c of a plant : having fleshy tissues
-
SLUT.....
- Pronunciation: 'sl&t
- Function: noun
- Etymology: Middle English slutte
- 1 chiefly British : a slovenly woman
2 a : a promiscuous woman; especially :
PROSTITUTE
b : a saucy girl :
MINX
- slut·tish /'sl&-tish/ adjective
- slut·tish·ly adverb
- slut·tish·ness noun
- slut·ty /'sl&-te/ adjective
-
Harlot.....
- Main Entry: har·lot
- Pronunciation: 'här-l&t
- Function: noun
- Etymology: Middle English, from Old French herlot
rogue
- :
PROSTITUTE
-
- Whoremonger.....
- Main Entry: whore·mon·ger
- Pronunciation: -"m&[ng]-g&r, -"mä[ng]-
- Function: noun
- :
WHOREMASTER
-
- Just a few of my favorite names...
- Jack off boy
- Peter eater
- Toss off boy
- Jerk off boy
- Boppin bologna boy
- Masturbator boy
- Sissy slut
- My little Wanker boy
- Pervert
- Sissy slut
- Girly girl
- Bitch boy
- Cunt face
- Cum sucker
- Cum licker
- Cum slut
- Cock lover
- Cock sucker
- Pussy eater
- Cunt licker
- Prissy girl
- Just to name a few.....
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